Who am I? I always wanted to be a nurse. Or a teacher. Or a news broadcaster. Or a physical therapist. Or an occupational therapist. That's right, I was a school major butterfly, hopping from major to major, never really knowing what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I would take classes in a certain field and then decide it wasn't right and switch to something new and do the same thing over and over again. I would fail my classes because I had no desire to try when I wasn't sure if I should even be there or not. I just didn't know what I wanted. As a little girl, I never really had a "dream" of being anything. You always hear such great stories of how people knew when they decided to pursue what they dreamt of. I never had that. On career day in the 3rd grade I took a baby doll to school and said I was a mommy. My 3rd grade self would be happy to see that that's exactly what I turned out to be. I'm 26 years old, a wife to my amazing husband Seth and most important of all, I'm a mommy.
I am so incredibly blessed to be able to stay at home with my babies every day. I live for these 2 children. They are my reason for living, for waking up every morning and for me actually feeling accomplished in my life. I used to have nightmares when I was in school about be being on a track for a race. I would be trying with everything I had in me to run as fast as I could but the wind was just too strong and I wouldn't move forward no matter how fast my legs moved. That's how I felt about my life, I would be trying so hard to figure out what I wanted to do, I would try so hard in the classes that didn't interest me at all and I would get nowhere. I would go from job to job either absolutely hating it, or just accepting it because I knew I had to do something to make a living.
Very shortly after getting married I found out I was pregnant with my first born, Weston. I was terrified but it didn't take long for the excitement to take over. Throughout my whole pregnancy I talked about what I was going to do after he was born and when I was returning to work. I really intended on going back too. Then he was born and I looked into those big beautiful blue eyes and I just knew, this is where I'm meant to be. This is what I am supposed to do. This is my moment I never had when I was young. I was a mommy. A stay at home mommy. I had never felt so good about what I was doing in my life as I did at that moment. I just knew that I was finally where I was meant to be.
I stayed at home with Weston and we added another little miracle to our bunch, miss Evelynn. I am so blessed to get to stay home with these babies every day and take care of them. I'm living my dream job every day and I couldn't be happier. It took me 24 years to figure it out but I now know who I am meant to be. I am meant to be a stay at home mommy to my amazing children. I am meant to devote my every day to these 2 angel's happiness. Playing with them, making their meals, changing their diapers, taking them to the park, teaching them to walk, talk and sing and dance. I've found myself.
I and Ashley. I am Mommy. I am happy. I am blessed.
